Mourinho attempting to tick ego-boxes

REAL MADRID will finally unveil José Mourinho as their new manager on Monday after agreeing compensation with Inter Milan.

Despite Inter being owed £13.5million under the terms of Mourinho’s contract, club president Massimo Moratti settled for a deal worth between £6 and 7million.

Even though Mourinho is probably the best manager of his generation, this deal means Real Madrid have spent considerably less on him than they did on Jonathan Woodgate.

“Cutting edge reports on Gillette Soccer Saturday.”

CHRIS KAMARA is renowned for his genius punditry.

But he might just have surpassed himself this time.

Job title costs Tigers their honeymoon period

IAIN DOWIE began his tenure as Hull City manager today, watching his new side lose 3-2 at Portsmouth.

Except he did not begin his tenure as manager on Saturday.

He began his tenure as football management consultant.

Giantkillers ruining the magic for everyone

PRESTON North End and Chelsea kicked off the FA Cup fourth round with their Saturday lunchtime clash at Deepdale televised on ITV.

Dennis Wise, essentially representing Chelsea, and Billy Davies, representing Preston, joined Matt Smith in the television studio.

The phrase “magic of the cup” was on the tip of all three’s lips, the unspoken monkey in the room, except that it was frequently spoken.

I personally want Chelsea to beat Preston, just as I would like Tottenham Hotspur to beat Leeds United, Arsenal to beat Stoke City and Manchester City to beat Scunthorpe United in the other televised games.

Portsmouth scat solo

LAST month jazz musician Anita Wardell was asked by Radio 5 Live presenter Danny Baker to put Portsmouth footballers into a scat solo.

Here are the results.

Pompey owner merry-go round shows Saudi silliness

OCTOBER is well under way now, which can only mean one thing – time for Portsmouth to get a new owner.

Sulamain Al-Fahim has sold his majority stake in the club to Saudi compatriot Ali al-Faraj after only 40 days of ownership.

People have spent that long on Mount Sinai with God.

From Capello to Ferdinand, why Campbell left County

FABIO CAPELLO made a classic schoolboy error during Sunday’s Manchester derby.

But when Capello left five minutes before the end, not only did he miss Craig Bellamy’s dramatic equaliser and Michael Owen’s even more dramatic winner, he also triggered a chain of events which has left one of his predecessors with a problem.

Pattern emerges in Pompey exodus

FOOTBALL’S summer transfer window will shut at 5pm tomorrow.

Portsmouth will be one Premier League club especially glad of this.

The south coast club entered January’s transfer window with a squad of players fresh from lifting the FA Cup the previous season.

Since then, though, one-by-one their best players have departed.

Big Four leave door open for Medium Four

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR and Manchester City continued their unbeaten starts to the new Premier League this weekend with wins over West Ham and Wolves.

Both of these big-spending pretenders, Tottenham in particular, have started the season impressively.

And this may finally be the season when someone makes a firm step into the Big Four.